5 am. The stupid “Get Happy” ringtone that comes on my cell phone goes off, and I rush across my room tripping over some clothes that I haven’t put away yet just to turn off my phone alarm before it gets to the part where it shows off its “upper register”. I don’t know why I torture myself… I really need to get a new ringtone.
I stepped out the door at 5:45am, the black clouds covered my chance of seeing the stars before getting in my car.
On Tuesday I had walked into the Waters Edge lobby about 5 minutes late because I had to discuss something with my teacher after class. (I go to UGA, and the class gets out at 6:15) Apparently… I had messed up… again. As bright as I am sometimes, school just seems to always be stretching my capacities. He explained to me, the syllabus, and I walked out of the classroom feeling like a failure. (Not quite an actual failure yet…but too close)
Now for some people, school is really easy. I hear you talk. You take 20 credit hours, and hang out with people every night. I don’t understand you, but I appreciate you. The rest of us people in Waters Edge in college need help from God to succeed.
From the beginning of my schooling experience at UGA, God gave me a very clear conviction that I’m suppose to major in International Affairs, but some days it honestly feels beyond me. I pulled in the Water’s Edge parking lot (still feeling heavy), and repeated a familiar prayer to God, “Will you give me someone that I can minister to tonight?”; and I could feel him tell my spirit, “No, tonight, I’m going to minister to you.”
And he did.
Even on this Sunday morning, I stood in the back of the sanctuary during worship, and just tried to give all my thoughts and anxieties to God. I was trying to worship, but I was struggling because my heart felt cold towards him. I stood there quiet and subdued trying to focus on Him, and Jesus sent an usher like messenger and he whispered words straight from Jesus, “You have a beautiful spirit.” He walked away, and I melted. Tears filled my eyes, as I could feel my heart fill with life again. Jesus is always so faithful, and always near. Again I’m reminded that, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3)
He will meet you.
(PS: My favorite word of the month is TRIUMPH)
